he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
