Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
