I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
