You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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