i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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