Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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