a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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