Christians are straight up FREAKS
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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