so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize