Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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