I haven't been this sober since birth.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I had to cum in my sink.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
