you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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