Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
