I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
