Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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