Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
