I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
