between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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