I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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