Barsexuality is the new black.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
