Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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