his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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