this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
