She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
