similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
