Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
