is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
