You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
