he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
