And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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