I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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