dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
