Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
