She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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