my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
