We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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