I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
