On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
