The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
