Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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