if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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