it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm at about main and main street
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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