Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
