i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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