You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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