I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
