There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
