I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
