Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
