i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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