Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
